She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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