Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
