got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
