HIV tests are more positive than that guy
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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