She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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