If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
