Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize