Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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