So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
