that's an acceptable place to lick
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
