so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
