Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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