did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
