So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
