We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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