Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Quick, to the slutcave!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
