talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Do vagina's smell?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
