we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
