I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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