I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
