I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize