someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
