he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
