Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
