I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
