worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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