Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
