were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
