A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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