A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i think my tv is drunk
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
