she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
