you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
