Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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