I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
