There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
