also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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