i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
