Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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