I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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