remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
