thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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