I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
