Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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