i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
