I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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