Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
