i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
