In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
