so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
