Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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