??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
