is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
