This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Houston, we have a blender
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
